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算什么男人周杰伦 - 哎呦,不错哦

 

28号晚,在周杰伦地表最强演唱会(杭州站)点歌环节中,一名自称“小仙女”的女歌迷点了一首《算什么男人》送给前男友。

 

“我前男友也在现场”

 

现场视频一出,瞬间刷爆社交媒体。

 

一起来围观现场↓↓

 

不方便看视频也不要紧,来看看“小仙女”和周杰伦的对话,感受下现场氛围。

 

周杰伦:你叫什么名字? 

 

歌迷:我叫小仙女。 

 

……

 

周杰伦:你要点什么歌曲?

 

歌迷:我的前男友也在现场。

 

……

 

周杰伦:你的前男友在哪里介绍一下。 

 

歌迷:我不知道他在哪里,但是他马上要结婚了。虽然他长得丑,眼睛也瞎了,我还是祝福他,我想点一首《算什么男人》给他。 

 

周杰伦:小仙女挺幽默的哦。 

 

歌迷:……镜头靠近我,让他老婆看看我,我有没有她美。给我一个特写镜头,让他看看我有多美!他有多瞎!!!

 

“日子开始过/我没你照样过/不会很难受/我会默默地接受”

 

事后网上有爆料称这个桥段都是安排好的炒作,不过,双语君(微信ID:Chinadaily_Mobile)今天不想讨论是否炒作,而是想和大家聊聊“前任”的话题。

 

 

 

前段时间,“前任结婚了”这个话题很火,随便在网上搜搜,就可以看到大量的话题和讨论。

 

 

 

 

 

这些回答画风各异,可能是“祝你幸福是真的,祝你们幸福是假的”的内伤,可能是“谢当年不娶/不嫁之恩”的豁达,也可能是老死不相往来的决绝。

 

 

 

不过,不管是深埋伤痛,还是风淡云轻,“前任”们就在那里,绕不过去。

 

双语君(微信ID:Chinadaily_Mobile)选了一些比较有意思的网友回答,和大家分享下。

 

扎心的……

 

 

 

 

幽默的……

 

 

其实,不管嘴上说得有多潇洒,表面看起来有多不在乎,个中滋味却只能自己慢慢去消化。

 

不过,贴心的双语君(微信ID:Chinadaily_Mobile)舍不得你难过,特别给你准备了“前任结婚怎么办”指南。

 

这篇指南出自The Everygirl网站上的一个妹子之手,她的三个前任,都……结婚了……

 

 

❶ 去冒个险

Adventure yourself

 

 

New memories can outweigh old dusty ones. That’s just science. So it can be really helpful to either plan a trip or just try something new. 

新鲜的记忆会淡化那些老旧的记忆,这很科学。出去旅个游,做点新鲜事儿都是很有帮助的。

 

This fall an ex of mine got hitched and my best friend and I drove to Toronto on a whim. Exploring a new city was the perfect distraction and it also helped to be as far away from the scene of the crime as possible. The distance was refreshing and the adventure was healing.

我前任今年秋天结婚了,我和朋友们一时兴起,开车去了多伦多。探索从未去过的城市成功地转移了我的注意力,也让我远离了那个伤心地,使我振作起来,这次冒险非常治愈。

 

❷ 找个朋友点醒你

Have your friends remind you why it didn’t work out

 

 

With all past relationships it can be easy to over-romanticize what you once had. Distance does make the heart grow fonder.

过去的已经过去,但是人往往容易觉得失去的才最美,并且不断美化失去的恋情。距离确实产生美啊。

 

The night my very first boyfriend got married, my best friends came over and opened a bottle of Dom Perignon I’d been saving. We proceeded to have a champagne ‘roast’ of my ex and all the ways we were ultimately incompatible. 

我第一个男朋友结婚的那个晚上,我和闺蜜们一起开了我藏的香槟。我们边喝边吐槽我前任,聊让我们最终分手的种种原因。

 

It was SO good to just make light of things and laugh about all of the reasons we were better off with other people. If this is a little dark for your taste, have your friends toast you and how badass you are.

我们开着玩笑,说着找到新的男朋友我可能会过得更好,这感觉真是太棒了。如果这对你来说有点暗黑了,那就让你的朋友把你夸上天吧……

 

❸ 不管你是什么感受都可以

Know that however you feel is fine

 

 

 

Sometimes it’s hard to decipher how exactly you’re feeling when an ex gets married. You go from nostalgic to hurt to indignant and back again. 

其实,前任结婚的时候,你的内心感受一般都很复杂,难以表述。怀旧、伤心、愤愤不平……如此循环往复。

 

A good thing to do the weekend your ex gets married is just let yourself feel whatever you want. You’re not pathetic if you are sad; you’re not cold-hearted if you’re not. If you’re still bitter, fine and if you are genuinely happy for him, fantastic. 

前任结婚的那个周末,你还可以花上点时间,感受下自己的情绪。如果你很伤心,你并不可悲;如果你不伤心,你也并不冷血。如果你还是难过,没问题,如果你真的为他开心,那就太棒了。

 

❹ 别看TA朋友圈了

Limit social media stalking

 

 

 

Especially if the relationship still stings or was fairly recent, the less you know about this wedding, the better. 

尤其是当你还很在意这段感情,或者你们刚刚分手。关于婚礼,你知道的越少越好。

 

This fall when my most recent ex got married, I decided I could look at my ex’s Instagram once just so that my brain would know it was actually happening. I said I’d just look at the most recent one. It was very surreal and I completely lost my marbles for a second, but would you believe me if I told you that after that I never looked again? Well, it’s true. All of that to say, less is definitely more if you are hurting. 

我最近的一个前男友秋天结婚了,我决定去他Instagram上看一眼,好让自己清醒一下。我决定只看他最新的一条(关于结婚的)状态。当时我失神了一会儿,但在这之后,我都没再去社交媒体上看过他。你信吗?是真的。告诉你,如果你难过,少看社交媒体为妙。

 

❺去婚礼现场砸场子

Break up the wedding

 

 

 

Ok this is definitely a joke, but it can be a really fun game to play at brunch with friends. Basically everyone goes around and comes up with the most dramatic, soap opera-esque scenario in which you could burst through the church doors and cause a scene. Using your imagination is fun, right?

好吧,其实我开玩笑的……不过如果和朋友在婚宴上玩玩确实挺有趣的。戏精附体上演一出偶像剧经典桥段,比如闯进大门,大吵大嚷什么的……充分发挥你的想象力,很好玩儿的。

 

话又说回来,很多人不一定能感受到前任结婚带来的暴击,但分手的痛苦却是大多数人会体会的。

 

文学作品中有不少对分手之痛的描述,下面,一起来读几段,感受下!

 

 

《飘》(Gone With the Wind)中白瑞德告诉我们,爱过,但再也回不去了,是什么样的感觉:

 

“I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken — and I’d rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.

“我从来不是那样的人,不能耐心地拾起一些碎片,把它们粘合在一起,然后对自己说这个修补好了的东西跟新的完全一样。一样东西破碎了就是破碎了——我宁愿记住它最好时的模样,也不想把它修补好,然后终生看着那些破碎了的裂痕。”

 

 

 

 

《恋恋笔记本》(The Notebook)中让人心碎的深情描写:

 

The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we’ve lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we’ve found each other. And maybe each time, we’ve been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this good-bye is both a goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come.

我们分别的伤痛如此剧烈,因为我们的灵魂相通。也许我俩的灵魂一直都联结着,也将永远相连。也许此生之前的千百次轮回中我们都彼此相遇,每一次又因为相同的原因被迫分离。这意味着,这次说“再见”,既是对过去一万年的告别,也是未来无数告别的序幕。

 

 

 

 

《呼啸山庄》(Wuthering Heights)里, 希斯克里夫(Heathcliff)在凯瑟琳(Catherine) 临终前绝望的咆哮:

 

“You loved me — then what right had you to leave me? What right — answer me — for the poor fancy you felt for Linton? Because misery and degradation, and death, and nothing that God or Satan could inflict would have parted us, you, of your own will, did it. I have not broken your heart — you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine."

“你爱过我,你有什么权利离开我?有什么权利——回答我——对林敦存那种可怜的幻想?因为悲惨、耻辱和死亡,以及上帝或撒旦所能给的一切打击和痛苦都不能把我们分开,而你,却出于自己的心意,把我们分开了。我没有伤你的心——是你自己伤了自己的心;而在弄伤它的时候,你把我的心也伤透了。”

 

 

其实,不管因为什么原因分手,曾经的刻骨铭心,都变成了从你的全世界路过。

 

 

 

双语君(微信ID:Chinadaily_Mobile)能帮到你的就是给你送上几句振奋人心的毒鸡汤,希望你仰起头,大步向前!

 

 

Two words. Three vowels. Four consonants. Seven letters. It can either cut you open to the core and leave you in ungodly pain or it can free your soul and lift a tremendous weight off you shoulders. The phrase is: It's over.

两个单词。三个元音。四个辅音。七个字母。它可以生生割裂你的心脏,让你痛不欲生,也可以让你瞬间灵魂飞升,肩头卸下千钧重担。这句话就是:结束了。

 

— Maggi Richard

 

 

 

 

Love is a word that is constantly heard,

爱,是一个时常听到的字眼。

 

Hate is a word that is not.

恨,是一个不常听到的字眼。

 

Love, I am told, is more precious than gold.

爱,有人说比金子还珍贵。

 

Love, I have read, is hot.

爱,书中说它热烈而性感。

 

But Hate is the verb that to me is superb,

然而,恨,才是我心中最华美的动词。

 

And Love but a drug on the mart.

爱只是黑市上的毒品。

 

Any kiddie in school can Love like a fool,

校园里的孩子个个都能为爱痴狂。

 

But Hating, my boy, is an Art.

而恨,宝贝儿,是一门艺术。

 

— Ogden Nash

奥格登·纳什,美国诗人

 

 

 

 

Hate is such a luxurious emotion, it can only be spent on one we love.

恨是一种如此奢侈的情感,只有我们深爱的人才配享受。

 

—Bob Udkoff

 

 

 

 

The older theory was, marry an older man because they're more mature. But the new theory is men don't mature.

老一套的理论是,嫁一个老男人,因为他们更成熟。但新的理论是,男人是不会成熟的。

 

Marry a younger one.

所以嫁个小鲜肉吧。

 

— Rita Rudner

丽塔·拉德娜,美国喜剧演员

 

 

 

 

"I would rather be a beggar and single, than a queen and married."

我宁愿当一个单身乞丐,也不愿做一个结了婚的女王。

 

— Queen Elizabeth I of England

英格兰伊丽莎白一世女王

 

 

 

 

By all means marry, if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

一定要结婚。如果你娶了个好妻子,你会幸福。如果你娶了个糟糕的妻子,你会变成哲学家。

 

I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.

我猜,能阻止离婚的唯一办法就是不要结婚。

 

— Socrates

苏格拉底

 

 

 

 

I think... therefore, I'm single.

我思,故我单身。

 

— Lizz Winstead

利兹·温斯蒂德

 

 

 

Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience.

别后悔。如果那是一段美好的感情,那很棒。如果那是一段痛苦的感情,就当是体验生活。

 

— Victoria Holt

维多利亚·霍尔特,英国作家

 

 

 

 

The heart was made to be broken.

心就是用来碎的。

 

— Oscar Wilde

奥斯卡·王尔德,爱尔兰作家

 

 

你有前任吗?你是怎么走出一段分手阴霾的?欢迎分享你的故事。


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